People, I am that pale.
Please observe a photo of me with my two sisters' from July 4th weekend. I will let you guess which ones are mine.
I was clearly hit with the "burn when inside a car with tinted windows while wearing SPF 70" stick, even as sisters and brother tan in a dang thunderstorm.
Biology decided not to replicate this gene with younger siblings. I will continue to tell myself it shall serve a purpose at a later date. Like if the electricity goes out in the dark of night and I need to light the streets of Milwaukee with my shins.