Tuesday

Is This Normal?

Ran the self-cleaning mechanism on our rental oven before I went to work yesterday and this is what I came home to: 
\
This

This

And this.

Question: Did I break the machine?
And can this snowy disaster be fixed a la the rug sitch?

I am pretty sure the appliances are terrified of me at this point.

Monday

Monday

I discovered 3 of my sale bouquets in the back cooler today. Meaning they didn't sell Friday or Saturday. Even at half price. Awesome.

I have yet to be asked to create a bow for any package.

And I was taught, for the 4th time in as many weeks, the stupid, confusing and simply ridiculous coordinate system used for deliveries for the sprawling city of Milwaukee.

Yeah, I still don't get it.

The only highlight was our plant supplier asking me 'how work is.' On hearing me say, 'A lot harder than I expected,' the lovely man became very serious and replied:

"People always say, oh, what a nice hobby, having a plant house and making flowers. They have no idea how much work it is!"

He is my new best friend. He is also in his mid-fifties. It's cool.

Sunday

Knicks v. Bucks


It was a beating. Here's Jon before he left for the game with our new friend, Mike. Hallelujah, we have a friend!



Jon said there were only 2 people in the audience in Knicks gear. Including him.

That soon became one person after the Knicks were down 31 POINTS AT THE HALF. They don't even have Stephon Marbury to blame for this one.

Jon proceeded to throw his jersey on the ground and stomp all over it, while simultaneously threatening to wrap his beer can in the jersey and chuck it at center court, Molotov cocktail-style. Luckily our friend talked him down from that ledge. And in the process of leaving the dreadful game and heading to a bar to meet me, Jon also managed to twist his ankle. (Um, what?)

Some folks go to church on Sunday; we practice sports rage on inanimate objects. I would like to call them both therapeutic.

Friday

Florist, Week 3

Well, I'd love to report that I've got the hang of things and have taken on some design duties, so I will! Made an arrangement for Sexy Sarah Palin's hotel room yesterday, completed dressing the store in holiday decorations (yes, already) and assisted in wedding bouquet preparations.

No, absolutely none of that is true. Well, technically one of the floral designers made the arrangement for SP and I watched. Same thing for the wedding bouquets. And I did staple black cloth to the walls as a backdrop for the white Christmas tree vignette we now have in one of the front rooms. . . but that took 2 hours, while the designer set up the tree, ornaments and lighting decorations, and accompanying shelves of goods in an hour and a half. I also broke the staple gun permanently. So that was productive.

I've also been making the bouquets that go on sale on Fridays. For half price. And for the past two weeks, they have not sold out, as they always do. I blame the rain and chilly weather, personally.

I finally received a "bow lesson," which prompted another discussion regarding my creativity. "Abbey's having difficulty grasping this, can you show her another way to do it?" Sweet. And my 23-year-old colleague caught on in 20 minutes one morning and spent the afternoon covering the green Christmas tree with her perfect damn bows. I still have yet to master this and have taken to carrying a balled scrap of ribbon in my purse so that I may practice in line at Pick 'n Save. (What? I said purse.)

At work, my right hand is now known as The Claw. Super. Maybe I can  blame this on early-onset arthritis?
I can't really say that I'm sad that I'm unable to make this bow. I think I'm secretly channeling Martha Stewart and she won't allow me to make such ugliness. You know, even though my job depends on it and this is what the customers request in their effing fruit baskets.

In reality, I have spent my days cutting flowers, cleaning buckets, coolers and floors, becoming best friends with a drill and the shoddy walls in the shop, rinsing floral containers, taking orders, boxing arrangements, packing away old holiday decor, wrapping carryout orders of loose flowers, pricing objects for sale and doing whatever is necessary. One of these days, when The Claw goes back to the dark hole it emerged from and My Fingers Return!, I hope to actually begin designing.

In the meantime, I am officially the worst florist in the Midwest, and most certainly in Milwaukee.

Bring it on, Monday!

Thursday

Enemy of the State

Well, to say Jon and I are stressed is an understatement likened to describing Milwaukee winters as mild. Or the Akimbo burger as diet-friendly. Apartment on the market, job hunt, CFA studying, cross-country move, wedding/honeymoon bills (life); it all adds up.

Adds up to me deciding to make cookie dough batter the other night. And then EATING THE WHOLE THING.
By myself.

Raw. 



Chubby and furious over here. Just no.

Wednesday

Disaster: Finale

Day 1


Day 5


I think we used up all of our luck on this one.

I'd like to thank detergent, water and Stain Stick for making this rug who it is today.
And: scene.

Tuesday

Frightfest at Franklin Place


I went as a lethal weapon.

These are one of the most unflattering pairs of pants in the history of unflattering pants (there's a reason this photo's from the front).

Please meet my husband, Steve Brule (the video is a must):





Those glasses are now a permanent member of Jon's wardrobe.