Due to my back condition getting worse (we are enemies right now, spine), I managed to work a half day on Monday before limping home like a scurvied pirate with two wooden legs. I promptly phoned my doctor to obtain pharmaceutical assistance, and with my newly acquired painkillers in hand, I spent the rest of Monday, yesterday and all of today on our fur-covered floor, "resting." Resting = bored out of my brain. On the plus side, I feel Houston and I have reached a new comfort level in our relationship, what with us napping face to face on the expensive Turkish rug that she considers her personal bed and shedding station.
Having her rear end at the same height as my nose, however, has not been a bonus. Cheddar-bacon Beggin' Strips are no more. Just. sick.
To add insult to back injury, I put on a pair of jeans that fit me superbly last week . . . only to discover the suckers barely made it over my love handles! Never mind that it takes me 20 minutes to put on a dang sock - I haven't even touched a shin since late November - putting on the shrinking pants took nearly half the morning! I was exhausted.
Oh, and the loud ripping sound that followed? Yet to be identified. As far as I'm concerned, if I can't see the tear, it doesn't exist and the pants still fit.
Just plain offensive.
Clearly my metabolism, due to this extreme inactivity, has chosen to hibernate like a bear in winter. Another super surprise? The doctor's office informed me I have gained 9 pounds since September. Excuse me - 9 pounds? 9 pounds! NINE POUNDS?!
That was like taking a bullet straight to the face.
So my new job is lying on the ground, attempting to breathe while not gaining weight from high-caloric oxygen, stewing furiously over rude and unwanted pounds, and hoping that I will not get fired from my part-time florist job due to inability to sit or stand for any length of time, otherwise known as: being able to WORK.
I have really done it to myself this time.
Wednesday
Tuesday
Booze City
Okay, Milwaukee's nickname is actually Brew City, but during our tour of the Lakefront Brewery on Saturday with the Kiffers, I misheard our guide. You could probably blame it on the Holiday Spice beer I was drinking at the time (alcohol content: 9.2%), but having witnessed firsthand the affinity for hard booze by 'Sconsinites, I felt this was an understandable mistake. [When the bartender - who was the spitting image of Principal Anderson in "Billy Madison," only in suspenders and dirty jeans - gave me the beer before the tour, he warned me that "every employee has a Holiday Spice story." Sign me up!]
Caleb and Lisa joined us Friday night and began the Bloom Signature Heart Attack Tour of Milwaukee, courtesy of midwest food portions. This was only after they experienced, in their pilot's own words, a "steering failure" during landing. Obviously, margaritas were necessary after such a traumatic experience. We headed to our favorite Mexican restaurant, Riviera Maya, and stuffed our faces with three meat nachos and specialty mole enchiladas. I believe both Kiffers skipped breakfast the next day due to "still being full." What newbies. I totally powered through.
On Saturday we ventured (for my third time) to Lakefront Brewery to give the Kiffers a taste of Wisconsin beer. Yes, I know the answers to all of the questions. (What is the 16th century German beer law that Lakefront adheres to? The Purity Law. What are the only ingredients allowed in the Purity Law? Barley, Water, Yeast, Hops. How many barrels of beer does Miller Brewery spill in one 8-hour shift? 8,000. How many barrels does Lakefront produce a year? Less than the amount Miller spills in one day. It's a small operation, and also the first certified organic brewery in the country.)
Anywho, the tour is a hoot, probably because all of the guides are drunk and openly admit it. Here we are standing in front of Bernie the Brewer's (the baseball mascot) beer stein from the previous baseball stadium.
Caleb and Lisa joined us Friday night and began the Bloom Signature Heart Attack Tour of Milwaukee, courtesy of midwest food portions. This was only after they experienced, in their pilot's own words, a "steering failure" during landing. Obviously, margaritas were necessary after such a traumatic experience. We headed to our favorite Mexican restaurant, Riviera Maya, and stuffed our faces with three meat nachos and specialty mole enchiladas. I believe both Kiffers skipped breakfast the next day due to "still being full." What newbies. I totally powered through.
On Saturday we ventured (for my third time) to Lakefront Brewery to give the Kiffers a taste of Wisconsin beer. Yes, I know the answers to all of the questions. (What is the 16th century German beer law that Lakefront adheres to? The Purity Law. What are the only ingredients allowed in the Purity Law? Barley, Water, Yeast, Hops. How many barrels of beer does Miller Brewery spill in one 8-hour shift? 8,000. How many barrels does Lakefront produce a year? Less than the amount Miller spills in one day. It's a small operation, and also the first certified organic brewery in the country.)
Anywho, the tour is a hoot, probably because all of the guides are drunk and openly admit it. Here we are standing in front of Bernie the Brewer's (the baseball mascot) beer stein from the previous baseball stadium.
When you first arrive and get your tour bracelet, you are also given 4 beer tokens. All this for 6 bucks! I traded in my 4 tokens for two of the Holiday Spice (they're more because they're in a bottle, see). Jon managed to get a bottle of their newest brew, Local Acre, made from specialty hops that can only be found in Wisconsin. It was slightly larger than both the cups and my bottle of Holiday Spice.
Complimentary cup, beer token, Holiday Spice and Local Acre.
At the end of the tour, you can exchange the cups (made of a corn polymer) for free pint glasses. Pretty sure there isn't a better value for 6 bucks anywhere.
Monday
I Don't Think They're Getting Back Together
Spied on the back of a Kia Sportage Saturday night in the parking lot of Buca di Beppo in Milwaukee (click on image to enlarge):
Oh, the womanly rage.
Amazing.
Friday
A present from Lonny!
Lonny, the only subsitute for my beloved and departed Domino magazine, is out with its December online issue! Read up!
http://lonnymag.com/
Forecast: Rude
December 10: 1 degree. 1. I thought temperatures only came in double digits?
December 11: Low of -1. Just rude.
This weekend is supposed to go up to 22 degrees - I've never been so excited to have tears freeze to my own face!
Tears of happiness - our dear, dear friends the Kiffers are coming all the way from New York City to visit us. Woo hoo!
P.S. Happy birthday, Lisa!
December 11: Low of -1. Just rude.
This weekend is supposed to go up to 22 degrees - I've never been so excited to have tears freeze to my own face!
Tears of happiness - our dear, dear friends the Kiffers are coming all the way from New York City to visit us. Woo hoo!
P.S. Happy birthday, Lisa!
Thursday
Florist, Week 7
I'm embarassed to admit that not much has changed in the skill department of my florist position. I would like to note, however, that as of Tuesday, I have made bouquets only 4 times, and made a vase arrangement only once. My days are filled with flower processing, cleaning, assisting customers, prepping containers and items for weekend weddings, packaging and completing phone orders . . . sadly, little time is left over to learn the actual art of flowermaking. When you're at the bottom of the floral bucket, all the grunt work is yours.
So I can't feel too bad about the fact that I know little more about floral design than the woman who runs the flower counter at Pick 'n Save or the lovely hombre who sells bouquets at the corner of 94th and Broadway on the UWS. Oh, let's be real - they probably know more than me.
Hoping that over the next few weeks I can ask for more opportunities to actually learn about floral arranging, as opposed to the intricacies of running a flower shop, of which I am now a connoisseur.
Keeping the claws crossed!
So I can't feel too bad about the fact that I know little more about floral design than the woman who runs the flower counter at Pick 'n Save or the lovely hombre who sells bouquets at the corner of 94th and Broadway on the UWS. Oh, let's be real - they probably know more than me.
Hoping that over the next few weeks I can ask for more opportunities to actually learn about floral arranging, as opposed to the intricacies of running a flower shop, of which I am now a connoisseur.
Keeping the claws crossed!
Wednesday
Forecast: December 8 Revised
Right. So I woke up to a dusting of snow and brown slush on the streets. What happened to 12 inches?
Today's revised forecast reads:
3 - 6 inches of snow
Low of 7 degrees
15-20 MPH wind
Yeah right! At one point this fall, the "weather teams" had predicted an early Saturday snowfall - and instead we had the most beautiful sunshine I've ever seen in my entire life!
I'm pretty sure the news staff are just drawing slips of paper out of a Packers hat and throwing them out as official predictions.
I'll be wearing a skirt and flip flops today.
Today's revised forecast reads:
3 - 6 inches of snow
Low of 7 degrees
15-20 MPH wind
Yeah right! At one point this fall, the "weather teams" had predicted an early Saturday snowfall - and instead we had the most beautiful sunshine I've ever seen in my entire life!
I'm pretty sure the news staff are just drawing slips of paper out of a Packers hat and throwing them out as official predictions.
I'll be wearing a skirt and flip flops today.
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