I Said I Was a Florist

So here's some actual proof.

Out of the now 6 arrangements I've made, I've never posted a picture. Because I've never taken one (more like shoved them in the store's front cooler and never looked at them again). Here are two photos of an arrangement I made yesterday - it actually looks much more normal than this first photo suggests (I did not, in fact, make devil horns out of larkspur). There are eucalyptus branches that mimic the shape. I have no idea why you can't see them.

I had to use blue glass beads in the vase, which dictated the color palette. Greens: Salal (broad green leaf) and pit (small green leaves with white edges) with eucalyptus for height. (Oh, dang do I hate the smell of eucalyptus. It has the same effect on me that the smell of oriental lilies - such as the stargazer - does. Shudder.)

Flowers: Spider mums, roses, purple carnations (these are pretty ones), larkspur, sunflower, monte casino asters, and alstromeria.

Ah, a better photo. Left the hanging valentine 'curtain' in the picture as a vision of some of the Valentine's decor covering every inch of the shop. Get your roses early, people!

Valentine's Day is a Sunday this year.

Next Stop on the Eating Train

Friday night we hit up Bacchus, one of Milwaukee's nicest restaurants, started by the Bartolotta family (a rare splurge for us and only because we sold the NYC apartment just before Christmas). Suffice it to say that we went overboard with the food: our waiter told us at the end of the night that "you guys ate a lot." The menu included a "Breakfast of Champions" (miniature brioche French toast topped with sauteed foie gras, a quail egg, a sliver of local bacon, bourbon maple glaze and apple-pear compote - holy Jesus, it was the best thing we ate all night), seasonal mushroom soup with truffle oil, a 'middle course' of fresh tagliatelle pasta with lobster, a flank steak for Jon, short ribs for me (what?), chocolate mousse and chocolate chip cookie bars topped with hazelnut ice cream and whipped cream.

What diet?

Followed by homemade enchiladas on Saturday (we call this healthy, as it was made at home) and dinner at Milwaukee's #1 rated pizza place last night, Zaffiro's. Attempting to keep it light we had an appetizer of 2 homemade meatballs (officially the only ones I like other than my mother's turkey meatball recipe) and an "EBF" pizza - 'everything but fish' (those anchovies have a high salt level content*). The pizza was a thin crust variety, you know, so that was better for the belly, too. Have to watch the carbs! And we took home leftovers. I think it's pretty clear we exercised restraint.

January is often known as "The Thaw" in our family, a time to cleanse out the system. We're taking that more in the direction of actual melting ice, thereby allowing us to leave the house . . . and try more restaurants.

*Technically, I made that up, but it sounds likely.

Late Night Convo

Getting comfy in bed the other night, mashing my pillows, I turned to look at Jon and his new haircut, which was extending in all directions away from his head courtesy of a squash match.

Moi: Woah . . . You have a helmet. It is officially two inches in length on all sides of your head. It is literally a helmet of curly human hair.

Jon: [Dagger eyes.]

I quickly averted my face to the side and returned to punching pillows. In the midst of my mashing and Jon attempting to get comfortable on his own set of pillows (we are very specific about whose is whose and the order in which they lay), my elbow flew out unexpectedly and stabbed Jon directly in his eye hole.

Jon: What are you crazy? [Hand over damaged eyeball. Dagger out of the remaining good eye.] Watch it!

And because I was really going for gold that night:

Moi: Too bad that helmet didn't come with a face guard.

Followed by hysterical laughter. And me sleeping alone.

500,000 Lost

Reports are estimating that up to 500,000 people may die as a result of Haiti's 7.0 earthquake on Tuesday.

Text 'HAITI' to '909999' and donate $10 to the Red Cross.

Thousands of people are still trapped in buildings while others are without food and water. It takes no time at all. 

P.S. Yoga. Again.

Hit up a different yoga joint on Saturday. WHAT. Suffice it to say the class description said "all levels," which was a complete lie.

Hombre instructor, let's call him Shri, because well, that was the devil's name. I alert him at the start of the class that due to my back issues, downward dog, forward fold, and any pose involving straight or even partially bent legs with hands simultaneously touching the floor is not happening.

I like yoga because you focus on just yourself (breathing, feeling the body settle into postures) and do your personal best. Not this class. For the next HOUR AND A HALF, after almost every pose, the instructor walked over to me to either push me into something I could not do, or to inform me I was not allowed to do that pose due to my inability to do it 'correctly,' followed by him forcing me to do an abbreviated/child version.

I learned two lessons that day.

1. Thanks to back injury, I am at kindergarten yoga level.
2. The new yoga joint is serious with a capital 'S'.

Okay, 3. I will never take a class from Shri again.

Our newest friend!

Charlotte Grace Swift

Born January 13, 2010

8 pounds, 3 ounces

Welcome to the party!

Thanks, Folks

It was so nice to read the comments on my last post. I'm not going to leave, at least not now. I won't lie though, I do kind of wish something would magically make it impossible to continue. Like me accidentally breaking an arm slipping on ice in the driveway heading out on a casual errand to Walgreen's. Those fantasies are totally normal, I am told.

Anywho, I'm here. And I'll keep trying. Unlike the Packers, whose quest for the Super Bowl died this past Sunday after a terrific game. (45-45 into overtime . . . until QB Aaron Rodgers fumbled for a Cardinals touchdown. Devastating loss.)

We attended a Packers chili party thrown by one of Jon's colleagues, a true blue Wisconsin sports fan. In typical Mili-wau-kay style, there were Bloody Mary's, complete with a microbrew chaser (spoiled rotten over here in beerland). Check out the garnish on this piece of spicy tastiness:

That would be: lemon, lime, onion, shrimp, string cheese, beef jerky, asparagus and something else I don't remember or recognize.

We also feasted on two types of chili (chicken and beef), homemade corn bread, salmon dip, Mexican cheese dip, plum cheese dip and assorted chips. I was introduced to a drink called the 007 - I am not a fan of rum, but this was dangerously delicious: 40% Bacardi O, 40% Sprite/7-Up, 20% Orange Juice. Quite refreshing on a Sunday afternoon and perfect for a brunch!

I brought the baked Mexican layer dip and it's always a hit. Maybe not the most elegant, but so freakin' good it doesn't matter. Here's my recipe (and believe me when I say that no one, not one single boy, has ever been able to taste the "diet-friendly" ingredients):

1 can chili (I use fat-free vegetarian chili, just in case)

1 8 oz. package cream cheese (I use reduced fat)

1 package shredded Mexican-blend cheese (reduced fat, again)

1 green bell pepper

1 orange bell pepper

1/2 onion

1 tomato

Preheat over to 350 degrees.

Layer the following ingredients in a baking dish (cream cheese, chili, shredded cheese).

Bake until cheese is bubbling (approx. 15 minutes). Chop peppers, onion and tomato.

Remove from oven and add chopped vegetables. Bake 10 more minutes and serve. (If you're traveling, add veggies and heat for 10 minutes at your party destination.)

Return home with empty dish.

I made Jon take a photo of the icicles hanging off the host's porch (yeah, people are weirded out when the two of us grab our phones and start snapping away at their private goods; hasn't stopped us yet). Here's a sample of the kinds of views we enjoy daily here, due to the "lake effect."

While getting a refill beer on the porch (who needs refrigerators when it's this cold anyway?), an enraged guest broke each icicle off with his bare hands. Just awesome.

To conclude, this was not a day for our diets.